Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Why did chicken cross?

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Plato: For the greater good.
Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
Machiavelli: ...for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.
Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.
President George W.Bush: Forty-two.
Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.
Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Aristotle: To actualize its potential.
Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.
Salvador Dali: The Fish.
Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down fromthe trees.
Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.
Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.
Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.
Sara Gilbert: Out of custom and habit.
Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's pretty (censored) simple to see. Don't you think?Ellen DeGeneres: What road?
Ronald Reagan: I forget.
Donald Rumsfield: The US Air Force offered transportation, so quite understandably the chickenavailed himself...The Sphinx: You tell me.
Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!
Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ...
Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.
Amy Ray: It was a hen!
Zeno Of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.
Chaucer: So priketh hem nature in hir corages.
Wordsworth: To wander lonely as a cloud.
The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that.
Keats: to prove that philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.
Blake: To see heaven in a wild fowl.
Othello: Jealousy.
Mrs Thatcher: This chicken's not for turning.
Supreme Soviet: There has never been a chicken in this photograph.
Kafka: Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.
Macbeth: To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er.
Freud: An die andere Seite zu kommen. (Much laughter)
Hamlet: That is not the question.
Donne: It crosseth for thee.
Constable: To get a better view.

The chicken: It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome, filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume to question the actions of one in all respects his superior.

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