Saturday, March 23, 2013
Why do I need all this stuff?
I love it when all the pieces fall together for me to write and connect with you again. The kids are off with friends. I rested well and am awake bright eyed and bushy tailed. My husband is generously giving away a piece of his weekend after a long week by working all day for a co-worker who's father is very ill. A great testament to the kind of man he is. This all gives me the space to sit down and write out some of the new thoughts that are bouncing around in between my ears.
First, let's take a snapshot look at where we are at already. Late March?! Mother Nature tells us here in the Red River Valley that it is still winter. Even early winter. With lows around 8 below this week and huge snow piles on our lawns. But, the calender says March and with that we know warmer temperatures (and perhaps flooding) are just around the bend.
I don't know about you but I like the energy of 2013 so far. Bye-bye topsy turvy "How far will I fall this time?!" Hello "What shall I manifest in this gorgeous world I live in?"
I find myself caught in the middle of my lifeline. Both in the logical, linear sense because I just turned 47 years old and am inching ever so close to that big age mile marker that screams "old" to me. And in a spiritual sense, looking back without pain but sheer observation and looking ahead with curiosity as opposed to dread or dismay. Birthdays will do that to a person. But losing and caring for aging parent will as well. 4 years ago, my father passed away suddenly from a heart attack at age of 69. And ever since my mother has been spiraling downward from variety of emotional, mental and physical ailments. A her strength and courage never cease to amaze me. A year after his death, she left a huge colonial home she rented with my father for over 10 years and moved into a very small apartment that she grew to love. She is now is preparing to move again into a room about the size of small dorm room. It is very daunting and sterile to her. I'm trying to paint the picture for her of the glorious view on the sunsets up on the fourth floor facing west and of plants growing on the slight window ledge with her big bright window but inside often as weary as she is about this role reversal. She says she's grown to love her little 2 bedroom apartment but as I sit with her I tell her what good is an apartment filled with all this stuff that you no longer have use for really? Take the most precious things and be carefree with a small bookshelf and TV and spend your days outside your door visiting new friends and sitting down to 3 delicious meals that you didn't have to cook! But just as new day of school can be scary too, she is uncertain & shy. But, until she moves, I'm clearing the path of all that is good. Here's to new friends and great meals! A twin bed with new quilt and linens is far more cozy when you can bring your dog along than a big empty King anyway right? Makes me seem very Pollyanna but more and more in my heart...I also know it to be true and so does she.
We start off on our journey as adults with so little. We kiss our parents goodbye as we grab maybe a box or two from our room or whatever we can cram into our car. I moved right in to the world at 18 with little more than a box full of clothes. Looking back I so wished I wouldn't have. We have our whole life to work! What the hell was I thinking?! Mom & I hit up a few rummage sales to find me a sofa love seat, a table, and a few ugly pictures to throw up on the wall. I was just so thrilled to have my own place! That lasted about a week before lonliness crept in.
Looking at the empty room that Mom will be moving in in a few months, I immediately thought of a college dorm room and the irony of how full circle life can be. Because my husband and I moved so much in our struggles and adventures together, and because of our enduring hardship, I've never really grown accustomed to having an unusual amount of stuff. Even now, with two very social teenagers, we live in s small twin home with one small, open living space area and our bedrooms. You learn to limit what you hang on to for your own sanity. My Mom is 73 and now needing to get her mind healthy again and uncluttered all the while the metaphor unfolds around her physical reality as well.
Spirit asked me to share with you to take an objective look around your garage, your home, your office, your car, your purse and ask yourself "Why do I need all this stuff?" "What is my attachment to it?" "Is it helping me on my journey?" "Does it make my journey easier or harder?" Go through every nook and cranny and purge a thing or two! See how it good it feels. Give away a book that's collecting dust. Zip through the sweatshirts to pick out 2 or 3 favorites and give the others to a battered women's shelter. Don't worry about the guilt of all those things in the corner you meant to fix just toss them or fix them already.
Now is a great time energetically to clear through the emotional attachment of your stuff and make way for not necessarily new stuff but a new way of being and traveling light. It really is the exact opposite of how we are trained to live in America. And you would do well to unschool that way of thinking to strive to a more streamlined, simple, free way of Being. This is what Spirit has shown me through the eyes of Mom's transition and has asked me to write and share with you. Peace be with you.